Picking Blackberries

Along the outside edge of the clearing, they eagerly collected berries: blackberries, raspberries, wine berries... whichever ones were in season. I used to worry that they would eat the wrong kind of berry and get sick, but my husband has been well-trained on edible wild berries, and has passed that knowledge along to his children. He patiently watches over them and helps them determine if the berry is ripe, and cautions them about the thorns. I love to watch them together, creating berry-flavored memories.

Some things are just bad for you. No matter how much you want it to work out. No matter how optimistic you might be. Too much sugar, for one thing - my personal demon. I can't stay away. Well, I can, actually. I tried it for a week just to see if I could do it. The first seven days of 2011, I ate zero sugar - not in my coffee, not in my cereal - I didn't even use condiments. Of course there are people who pointed out how sugar still managed to sneak in by other means, but I'm going to ignore their negativity because I know I did something big when I said no to sugar. For a person who gets offered a five-pound bag of sugar as a joke, every time she visits her brat of a big brother, that is a huge deal.

Unfortunately, there are also people who can be bad for you. Most people have someone in their life who is constantly showering them with negativity, or sucking the life out of them by being too needy or demanding. Come on, admit it... someone just popped into your mind, right?

A few years ago, my husband and I had someone in our lives who turned his back on his family, including us. He stopped speaking to everyone, for very petty reasons - reasons unique to each relationship. I tried so hard to bring about reconciliation. I sent letters. I pleaded. I used all the logic I could come up with. I sought counseling. How do you reason with someone who wants nothing to do with you?

I was directed to this verse: Romans 12:18. "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." It could only be up to me for so long. Eventually, I had to let go. When I finally did, I had peace. The reconciliation never came. I doubt it ever will. But I know that I gave it every chance.

That relationship was toxic and it really took a toll on me. I have noticed that about me, how being around negative people drags me down. I've felt anxiety, depression, and irritability, just from being around certain people for too long.

There have been times when my husband asked me outright, "have you been talking to ....?" He sees it too, the effect certain people have on my temperament. He has also been known to warn me about people before I get to that point, but I don't listen. Too optimistic for my own good. I keep thinking I can out-positive their negative, but it never works. Sometimes it's healthier to keep the toxic contact to a minimum. Stress is not good for your health.