Hiding in the Fog

The trail brochure warned us of recent bear activity in the area. I had mixed feelings, knowing there were bears sharing the same woods we would be exploring. I've never seen a bear in the wild. It would be so exciting. Then again, bears are big and dangerous animals. The entire time we hiked, I looked carefully out into the woods as far as I could see, hoping - and at the same time dreading - seeing a bear. At times, the sun shone through the trees in the distance, creating the illusion of a fog, and creating an eerie environment for my active imagination. By the end of the hike, I was rather disappointed -and relieved - that no bears had appeared.

I have what I like to call a passionate personality. When I'm happy, which is usually, I am on top of the world. My boss told me that I bring sunshine to work with me. When I am sad it hits fast and it hits hard. Anger and frustration manifest themselves as sadness with me. Recently, I was in a meeting and felt so frustrated that tears started rolling down my face and the boss had no idea why. Awkward!


This passionate personality keeps me busy. I fill my calendar, knowing I'm good at multitasking, and welcoming the challenge of keeping up with it all. When I am interested in something, I'm all in. I pursue and pursue and pursue this interest, plugging it into every vacant moment of my schedule, until I come to a point of burnout.

And that's where I've been the last few weeks. Burnout. I have been so busy, and juggling so many things, that my body and my brain started to protest. I started to get aches and pains. I felt overwhelmed and irritable. I even got physically ill for a few days. Not only this but there have been some outside contributors to my gloom. A tragedy in our neighborhood that resulted in gripping fears for the safety of my family. Unreasonable demands from a friend. Things like that. Stress upon stress.

I needed time to step back, breathe, regroup. It feels like hibernation. I cut out the things I can cut out, and put the rest of life on autopilot. I retreat into my home and surround myself with my family for a while. Reconnecting with them helps me to refocus. No matter what is going on in the outside world, we have each other. My family gives me strength, support, and unconditional love and acceptance.

I haven't been out and about much lately. I've been hiding in the fog for a few weeks now, and my absence has been noticed. But yesterday, I felt like the fog lifted and the lights were turned on. Today is a new day. And I think I'm ready to venture out again.