Fear for Fuel

I have read that it is very common for dead bodies to be discovered by runners, but nothing really prepares you for the reality of it. The run was going great - dozens of people in attendance, chatting casually as we took to the streets of Lansdale. We had just dropped off food donations at the local food pantry and were feeling that special rush you get from doing something for someone else. We rounded a corner and headed down a sidewalk. Just before I passed a telephone pole, I saw it lying there - the lifeless body of a groundhog. I shrieked, then felt silly immediately. I mean, of all people! I am a hunter, I love hiking and being in the woods, but it surprised me. That little surprise gave me a better energy boost than any gel or energy bar on the market!

This morning, KC mentioned to me that she admires the fact that I am sticking to my running schedule and getting people to come out with me. I told her the simple truth. The reason I haven't skipped a run (except when it was lightning), is because of fear. I know myself well enough to know that skipping one will lead to skipping another. Then, before you know it, I will give up on my goal - and myself - completely.

It's the same reason I keep inviting people to run with me. I am truly afraid to run alone. It's not really safe, especially when it's still dark out, but beyond that, there have been some disturbing local news stories recently that terrify me. Out of fear, I invite not one, but many people to join me. There is always that chance that if you invite one, they may not show up, so I put it out there and hope that at least one person comes through for me.

Fear usually moves someone in a particular direction. Fear of heights moves someone to solid ground, fear of tight spaces moves someone into the open, fear of dogs moves someone to cross the street when they see one coming. But some of the most inspirational stories are the ones where fear moved someone toward a goal. When someone's fear of death moves them to get healthy or lose weight, for example.

I'm a fearful person. I have many phobias, which my closest friends are well aware of. Paralyzing phobias like the fear of heights that almost stranded me on top of the huge dirt mound at ddip. I hope to conquer some of my fears someday - but to be honest, I'm not in a hurry! So, while I focus on my half-marathon goal, I will train myself to use fear to push me toward a goal instead of paralyzing me.

After that, who knows what I might set out to do!