If I Were God

Trees were down everywhere. Some were uprooted completely, their massive roots leaving gaping holes in the earth. Some were snapped in two from the unbridled fury of winds the night before. The trees that were spared had been stripped of their leaves and some of their branches. The trails I had become accustomed to were littered with new obstacles. The air was silent - no squirrels or birds chittering from above, no rustling of leaves from small rodents on the ground. It was the eerie aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. Though destructive and powerful, the storm was not fueled by anger or vengeance. It did not have a vendetta against these trails and the wildlife that lives there. Nature has no malice or evil intent. Not like humans.

I've been asking some tough questions about God lately, most of them beginning with why? Why does He let evil prevail? Why doesn't He protect His children from harm? Why doesn't He seem to answer prayer? Why is He silent? Why does He stand by while people mock Him? And the biggest one: Does He really care?

Those questions continue to go unanswered, but in asking them, I have come to the conclusion that my issue is not necessarily disappointment with God, but disappointment with people. Think about it...

The reason I became frustrated with church was because of people.

The evildoers and mockers - people.

The unanswered prayers? If I'm honest, many of them come back to people. Lord, change their heart.

If I were God, I would probably do things differently. If someone mocked me, I would strike them down with lightening. If someone threatened the people I love, I would turn their evil upon themselves. My responses to evil would be very theatrical, like the superheroes in movies who get the audience cheering and laughing when they take down the villains. Wouldn't anybody do that?

If I were God, I would not have infinite patience to wait and let things run their course, knowing the end from the beginning and seeing the good in the face of the bad and knowing how my power not only can defeat evil but has defeated it. But then maybe I would, because I would be God and only God can do that.

Only God can still care about us when we don't deserve it. Only God gives us infinite chances to find Him and the redemption only He can give. Only God can love the unlovable.

Mere humans aren't that pure. We all fail. We all disappoint. So maybe I walk into church and someone makes me feel unwelcome. That is not a reflection of me or my value. It is a reflection of their human inadequacies.

Maybe someone says or does something cruel to me in anger. That is not a reflection of my worth, but of their own struggle for control, or even self-control.

Maybe my struggles contribute to someone else's disappointment in me.

We are all on a journey. We all have struggles and we all have sins. I need to learn to let other people be who they are, to not take things personally, to continue being who I am no matter what storms are raging around me. And I need to remember that God cares enough to be patient with me.