Mud Puddles and Corn Stalks

I watched the ground, carefully stepping around puddles and brush, as I followed my husband through the field. We normally don't come out here until late November, when the air is colder, the grass and brush are dried up and lying down, and the ground is a bit dryer - or frozen. We also normally wear boots. Today, in my sneakers, cautious about protecting my ankles, I saw every rut and cornstalk as an obstacle. What is usually a straight shot to the back, turn left, straight shot to the left, is a minefield of potential injury. I found it hard to focus on the destination with my eyes nervously on the obstacles.

So I've hit an obstacle. The kind of obstacle I fretted most about, that threatens to keep me from a couple of very big goals I have set for myself. The kind that makes me lose heart and wonder if I really have what it takes to complete this mission I've been on.

This morning I was very angry. I wanted to yell at someone. I wanted to blame someone, but I really have no one to blame. I got some very good words from some very special people. My husband said: you just need to work out once and you'll be motivated again. JJ said: you are already prepared for your race. KC said: It's just one week, you'll bounce back. Tracey said: You're probably more ready than you think. Tiffany said: If anyone I know can do this, it is you.

How did I manage to surround myself with so many encouraging people? I feel like, at the moment, they are holding me up, and I owe it to them to dust myself off and get back out there. It's the most promising feeling I've had in ten days. Just because I've been looking down at the obstacles doesn't mean the goal has moved. I'm still going in the right direction, I just had to step around some puddles and corn stalks.

Sometimes the journey is smooth and I feel a constant progression toward my goal. And sometimes, I have to weave through rough terrain. My half marathon is a trail run. It's not a smooth, paved road. I chose that for the challenge. I just didn't realize the rough terrain would apply mentally as well. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the bigger the challenge, the greater the victory.

I am setting myself for one heck of an accomplishment.